I’m not all that I make myself out to be. Yesterday, I came very close to what could have been a threatening situation, and the fact of the matter is that I wasn’t prepared for it. I was walking to the gym with one of my girl friends around 6:30 (it was still light outside), and some random man came behind us and asked my friend, “Excuse me, how much was that anklet you’re wearing?”
She nervously answered, “Uhh, about $5.” We continued walking.
But he didn’t stop talking. “Can I touch it?”
“No, I don’t want to take it off.” We continued walking. He mumbled something about her not having to take it off, and stayed behind us. At this point I was on medium alert. I paid attention to the distance between us and him, and kept the volume of our conversation low so that I could listen to what he was doing. As we passed part of the hospital, I asked my friend if she knew the indoor route to the gym (I knew it existed, but didn’t know what it was). She said she didn’t remember it, so we’d take it on the way back. I heard the man say on his cell phone that he was headed to his own place, and that gave me a temporary sense of relief. We crossed the street, he crossed the street right behind us. We turned the corner to go to the building, he turned the corner right behind us. High alert. I looked around, for that moment, the community was totally quiet. Usually a security guard sits at the entrance of the building with the gym in it, so I went in hoping to let security intervene and save the day. No security guard yesterday. At that entrance of the building, there are only two choices: elevator or stairwell. No offices or hallways of any kind. We opted for stairwell. As soon as we started up the stairs, he started grabbing at her ankles. Missing at first, but grabbing all the same. At one point he grasped her ankles, she was hitting him and I was trying to pull her away from him. My mind seriously blanked: the only thought I had was that she needed to be out of his reach, and it was already too late for that. Eventually she freed herself, we ran up the stairs and he gave up. We made it to the gym safely. Shocked and shaken, but safe.
Now, in retrospect, this situation was absolutely preventable:
When I first came to Boston, my roommate had already been in this neighborhood for awhile. As I was leaving to get a bite to eat one day, she saw the purse on my shoulder and said, “I would think twice about carrying that if I were you. The less attention you attract here, the better. Just put everything in your pockets.” I took her words seriously and to this day, when alone, I don’t carry a purse, and I keep my jewelry in my pockets until I either reach my destination or leave the ghetto. Thankfully I never found myself in a compromising situation. I should have noticed my friend’s jewelry and advised her similarly. However, I thought the buddy system made everything okay so I made nothing of it.
Second, I should have pushed harder to find the indoor route via the hospital. At that time it was too early for either of us to be convinced that he was following us, but better safe than sorry. A phrase ingrained into every American kid’s head from kindergarten, a phrase that my gut spoke at that time, and a phrase that I ignored. That was stupid of me. Plain stupid.
To top it all off, by the time I got to high alert I really had no clue what to do. The guy was way bigger than both of us; there was no way I’d be able to do anything more than piss him off. I didn’t know where to go, who to call, or what to do. I had no idea what to do. When I needed instinct to come through for me, it wasn’t adequate. Sure, it’s hard to maintain a sharp mind in an unfamiliar and threatening state, but that’s exactly why I shouldn’t have suppressed my gut feeling earlier.
I’m physically not made to fight. I’m sharp on my mind, not my fists. But a battle of wits wouldn’t fight off this guy in that stairwell. I’m kicking myself now for not listening to my instincts before it was too late, but I’m also extremely thankful that both of us were together at the time and that we both left the situation safely.
Thanks for the warning, Big Guy. This is a mistake I’m definitely not repeating.
Oh yea, readers, two things:
A) Don't be stupid like I was in this situation.
B) Don't for one second think that I'm scared to go outside. I'm not. I still believe that as long as people are cautious and travel intelligently, it's possible to live an absolutely safe life, even in Roxbury.
