Week 2

We have our first exam this week. I feel like I've been here for years. Since the first day of school last Monday, I've been on campus for an average of 12 hours per day between class and studying. I decided that it's not worth burning myself out over; after all, it's pass/fail. Towards the end of last week and this week I've been trying to incorporate about an hour of working out into my schedule so that I don't turn into a complete fat ass in the library. I've also been cooking a lot more than I used to. Hopefully those habits will keep up as time goes on. It feels like we're studying for finals every day. I missed this though, in all honesty. I'm really happy to just jump right into it at full speed after the slow year that I had off, so I'm definitely in a good place. All I need is some good shopping time sometime this weekend and I'll be ecstatic. Or maybe I'll wait a little longer for my current billing period to close. Sushi would be nice though.

Last week I felt a little awkward socially. Back home I was so comfortable and happy with my group of friends. I genuinely believe that I was surrounded by the best possible people back home. Going from that across the country to this new place definitely threw me off. I didn't really prepare myself for meeting new people and making new friends, and I didn't really want to be in that position. It's getting better though. I'm certainly not one of those people who approaches everyone and introduces myself, I usually let circumstances take care of that for me. I've met a handful of people through studying in the library who I think will be good to keep around, and for now I'm happy with that. Most of these people will be in my life almost every day for the next four years, so I shouldn't have to worry about putting so much effort into getting to know them at this point. I miss having someone very close to me nearby though. I've always had one friend locally who I could just express anything to, and that's what's lacking here. For now, anyway. Oh well. I'm getting late for the library, it opened 5 minutes ago and I feel like I should've been there.

Orientation

So I am a first year medical student at SUNY Downstate in Brooklyn. I'm ecstatic about being here, and I chose this school because they were the only U.S. medical school to let me in. Though I might've chosen to come here over other schools I interviewed at if they also let me in. My class was encouraged multiple times to start a journal to track ourselves throughout school, so that's what I am going to do here for awhile. Let's see where it goes.

I definitely still don't completely believe that I got in. What a journey... Waiting for life to happen is by far the worst way to spend it, and I learned that the hard way. But at least I got to where I want to be. I feel very unsettled and it hasn't hit me yet that I moved out of California. Till this week I've been surrounded by my immediate and extended family, and even some friends from California over the past weekend. I guess those nine days to pack up my life, say goodbye and move didn't leave much time for me to internalize everything.

During the White Coat Ceremony, I had a moment where I looked around and thought to myself, "Do I really want to be here? Everyone keeps saying this is hard... do I really want to do that to myself? I could totally quit and go to beauty school and just start a salon and that would be great." Haha. It seems ridiculous that after making getting here my goal for the last 3 - 4 years I would have doubts now. It seems like it's more panic than actual doubt, mixed in with some lingering disbelief. Prior to getting the phone call that changed my life, I was pretty comfortable lounging around my parents' place in San Jose, looking for a job, and possibly another career plan if I didn't want to reapply to med schools (which I didn't).

I am excited though. I really did miss studying over the last year, so it'll be good to see how I fare after so much time off. And learning things would be cool too.